Bringing the festive magic in Zakopane, Poland!

My Polish friend Agi inspired this trip (thank you my lovely!). A couple of years ago, before lockdown, she told me about her hopes to take her daughter to a place called #Zakopane in #Poland, a place that offered a much more reasonable alternative for a pre-festive treat than the likes of Lapland or some of the other European #ski resorts. The idea mulled around in my mind until it was again possible to travel and some accrued credit with easyJet was spent on some very reasonably priced flights from #Luton to #Kraków.

The imagery of #Zakopane certainly projected a picturesque #Alpine atmosphere. The accommodation was in the style of picture-perfect Alpine lodges and cabins. On top of that the quality of accommodation that you could book was far, far better than in many other comparable destinations. So, for the second weekend running I was headed down to Luton early hours of the Friday morning.

In fairness to #easyJet, despite my hatred of the garish orange corporate colours, I'm pretty impressed with their post Covid travel repertoire. They run a pretty tight ship and don't tolerate dickheads who persistently ignore the repeated reminders to keep your mask on for the safety of yourself and all of the passengers on board the flight. Arriving at and moving through #Luton Airport was, as always slick and seamless and even though we were cutting it fairly fine we passed through security all in good time to grab a bite to eat and get straight on the plane. The other end however upon arrival at Kraków, we were met with another almighty queue.

There was no way that we would make our connecting bus that we pre-booked from the city centre onto Zakopane. One of the airport staff kept eyeing myself and August and eventually came over and asked how old he was. When I replied four, she grimaced and said, “oh he needs to be 3 to let you through into the family lane”. So, we returned to face the prospect of a good couple of hours queueing ahead of us. Fast forward half an hour and I made eye contact with the assistant again, offering “any chance he can be three now?” She smiled and gave in and in a flash, we were whisked to the front of the special assistance queue, and we were through.

In my brief predeparture search i'd read about the possibility of a train into the city centre, but for the life of me couldn't find any signage or signals for a train. Exiting the arrivals hall, I spotted a bus stop and, in the confusion of the new environment optimistically thinking a bus would be along soon purchased a couple of 20-minute tickets. To note, in Poland the time starts from the point you validate the ticket on board the bus, but the ticket duration must cover the entire journey duration. So those tickets, albeit super cheap were a waste of money. The bus finally came along, the 208 which I was assured by helpful local would take us straight into the central bus station, from where we needed to catch the #Maxbus to Zakopane, scheduled to leave at 12:20.

A word on transport in Poland from my rather limited observations. If you need to get somewhere on time, it will, on paper, take you a whole load longer, but go by train because potentially, in the long run after you spent hours stuck in a traffic jam it will all even out. It took over an hour to get into the city centre, stopping at every single stop it seemed on the way. This meant that we missed our connecting bus. Our attempt to plead with the information assistant did not bear fruit and I was told that “you missed the bus you missed the bus the ticket is gone”. We were told there was another bus departing soon and there should be seats on it. We joined the queue but were turned down, at least from what I could make out. One aspect of this trip that I really liked was the fact that pretty much everywhere we went, no one spoke English and of course my Polish is pretty much non-existent embarrassingly so. But it was a valuable challenge for communication to see just how far we can get by in the circumstances. I think the bus driver said something about August being able to sit on my knee, but we returned back to the ticket office to try again.

Luckily there are incredibly frequent services to Zakopane, but it is also a very popular place, and most services are full. So, I'm really not sure from this trip whether I would recommend pre-booking tickets, to guarantee availability or just leave it and take the chance so that you don't face any loss financially or the disappointment based upon not catching the service that you would have intended.

I realise that some of you might be thinking shouldn't August be at school at this point in the year.? I'm sure that everyone has their own opinions on this, but not withstanding the fact that until they're five years old my children don't have to legally be at school, I'm pretty certain, and no offence intended to the national curriculum in the UK or to August’s School which is fab, that the things he was exposed to and things he learned, in addition to a general broadening of horizons, I'm pretty certain I could put up a good argument in favour of taking two days out of the school week. Some of the skills and new knowledge that could be acquired through a trip like this; map reading, winter sports, aviation travel geography, understanding of different societies, languages, history and culture, to name a few.

At this point in the day my aged iPhone battery starting to die. I'm sure most people are better equipped in the technology stakes than I am, but …. note to self don't ever forget your portable charger again or, in fact European to UK plug adapter. Thought I was being belt and braces in my frugal packing but clearly not, having missed out what I would suggest are the essentials not to forget.

The delay to our departure from Kraków gave us time to procure some tasty grub from the bus station bistro. At least our bellies would be full. The bus, which should've taken two hours to get to Zakopane crawled through heavy traffic and eventually arrived just as it was getting dark. It was a good walk from the bus station to our accommodation and in the dimly lit streets and mist enveloping us there was a wintry, slightly sinister feel.

Well, would I recommend the place we stayed – Lesney Dworek to others? Absolutely. The things that appealed to me about the accommodation in the first place was that it seemed to be on the outskirts of town in more of a rural area, there was a hot tub and sauna that guests could use, and the place looked to be decorated in a very traditional, kind of kitsch sort of way. It didn't disappoint. For anyone that knows me well, they'll know that I've got a real thing about festive smells and incense and in the months running up to Christmas fill the house full of apple and cinnamon. It really made me smile that the place we were staying for the next three days had the same smell, and was decorated with Christmas trees, pumpkins, pinecones and cinnamon sticks. We even had a Christmas tree on our balcony.

Not being able to read any of the signage I couldn't ascertain whether it was okay or not for children to go into the hot tub. Figuring out though that August likes his bath is pretty toasty I didn't see the harm and so this was his first dip in the hot tub. I think he's hooked. It was really nice however just to feel like I was getting a little bit of a wellness break, I would certainly need it because the next full day three days were incredibly full on, August has been in a state of heightened excitement and therefore I need to be on full form with batteries on full charge.

I didn't have too many fixed ideas about what we were going to do when we were in Zakopane. The main motivation being really to visit a place that felt a bit more festive, perhaps with some guaranteed snow, to build the pre-Christmas excitement. I've never been on a skiing holiday myself and have always favoured the heat, but in recent years have started really enjoying wrapping up warm and enjoying the differing appeal of colder climates. Another major important motivation of course is that it is a well known fact that Santa spends his autumn time in the Tatra mountains and can sometimes be seen at the highest point in Poland. If you're able to deliver your #Christmas letter to the post-box on the top of the mountain you're guaranteed to get your wish if you've been very good all year as well of course.

One of the top family attractions in Zakopane are listed on TripAdvisor and Culture trip is a visit to one of the geothermal baths.

Being reliant upon our own feet for transport we opted for the Aquapark Zakopane, attached to the Aquarion Hotel. This could be reached quite comfortably through a decent walk from our accommodation. Again, I didn't really know what to expect apart from a massive swimming pool with some slides. As it was also Saturday morning, it coincided with when August would be having his normal swimming lesson, so a good opportunity to practice his swimming. You were given different options for admission, an hour ticket or 2 1/2 hours or a full day. We opted for 2 1/2 hours.

The place was absolutely spotless; none of the minging black mould that seems to characterise my local fitness centre. Take a leaf Everlast!

There was definitely plenty to keep us busy for 2 1/2 hours. As well as getting loads of swimming practice, there were plenty of slides, hot tubs, a lazy river, and an outdoor pool. The only thing that under 14s can't go into is the geothermal whirlpool. But we spent lots of time in the outdoor pool with the most fantastic views over to the “snowy mountain” (Kasprowy Wierch) as August termed it, in the distance. Hot tubs are funny things you know, I don't know why but they seem to have the effect of motivating people, usually men, to adopt contortionist poses in the interests of the pounding jets reaching some unreachable sprain or aching joint; weird to watch and even weirder to contemplate too seriously. When our time was up, we had lunch in the café bar overlooking the swimming pool. I couldn't believe how cheap everything was! For two drinks, goulash, and a hotdog with salad it came in at less than £4. Definitely a very affordable option for a family break.

We then took a walk towards #Krupowki Street. It certainly is as pretty as the reports make out. On balance I think I really love Zakopane, but I think I was expecting something a little less commercialised. It's a really entry intriguing fusion of natural beauty and beautiful architecture on one hand but then random tacky shite on the other. Nonetheless, the random tacky site is entertaining for young children and intriguing from a Tourism commodification perspective for myself and we spent a bit of time exploring the festive penguin palace that took an interesting turn into a torture chamber come maze. We then moved onto the waxworks museum, which totally freaked me out, especially the figurines of Hitler and Mao. August has got a bit of a thing currently about boxing and boxing gloves and so was delighted to see Muhammad Ali there with a massive gold glove that you could try on. Happy boy! These attractions are trailblazers in secondary spend opportunities. On top of the rather steep admission fee, you would then be lured into a game of air hockey, holographic walkway, an opportunity to have your picture taken with a rabbit on your knee or a parrot on your shoulder. Very random but nevertheless amusing.

Krupowki Street is very charismatic. There are loads of souvenir shops and eateries as well as street entertainers. August was fixated upon a Roma family that were singing a lively song, that I now can't get out of my head, something about Alexandra and Julia ….. Ale Ale Ale xandra….. (Thank you.... you are most welcome). I think August’s main point of interest however was the home-made drum, a.k.a. a box which a young boy was beating ferociously.Why are they singing mummy? Because they need money darling. Why do they have to sing for money? Prompted a conversation about poverty and why some children don't go to school and have to work.

Our action-packed day hadn't come to a close just yet, as we took the funicular railway up to #Gubalowka.We had been undecided about whether it was too late to head up there at 3 o'clock as it was almost getting dark. I couldn't be gladder that we did, and we were rewarded with the most beautiful views of the mountains, the snowy mountain (Kasprowy Wierch) opposite. But again, the juxtaposition of beautiful natural beauty in one direction and quite garish neon lights behind us. Coming back down the mountain we enjoyed the most delicious traditional Polish food and music from men wearing “riding trousers” as August described them.

Getting back to our accommodation, August was keen to hop back into the hot tub. We had to wait a while for a couple of other guests to exit. My hot tub paranoia aligns with my hotel bed throw and scatter cushion paranoia -I’m not personally a massive fan of hot tubs, but I was feeling slightly heartened by the Polish rules I could discern saying 'no sex' but then taking two giant steps backwards walking into the sauna room as a macho guy and his blonde with a shaggy perm sit canoodling. “Don't swallow the water August” said I.

The next morning, we were up early. Destination the snowy mountain (Kasprowy Wierch). Letter to Santa safely in my backpack. Although we were resigned to getting a taxi to the cable car, which should have been a fiver ish, we found a row of minibuses waiting to take eager tourists to the station, for 8 zloty per person (less than £2). No queues, unlike the reviews... and even better, August was free. So, it cost us 69 zloty for the two of us to take the return journey up to the peak of the mountain. Bear in mind that the tickets are sold as timed. So, you get an hour and a half. More than enough, especially when it's blowing a blizzard and you can only see 1 m ahead of you at the top of the mountain. August was a bit nervous, being his first time in a cable car, but once he got used to the sensation really enjoyed the ride. Personally, it was one of the most spectacular things I've ever encountered. The views were phenomenal, and the cable car felt smooth, safe and comfortable. Well, we got our snow. Aplenty. Perfect white snow.

Dry snow that was coming in and settling and not turning to nasty brown mush after five minutes. But it was literally blowing a blizzard and we couldn't see far in front of us. It was impossible to know whether there was a sheer drop to the left-hand side or a very pleasant gently shelving slope. I pondered on where #Santa’s post-box could be and remember something about it being near the weather station at the highest point in Poland. Being appropriately dressed for the first time ever we enjoy being in the snow, played snow angels had a snowball fight and rolled around.

We use the ropes to pull us up to the weather station, not a soul around. It was fairly windy, so we had to sit down. I didn't want to take the chance of either of us getting buffeted and slipping. Just as we were looking around for the post-box, lo and behold along came one of Santa’s elves dressed in green, as one would expect. I explained that we didn't want to walk much farther because we couldn't see very well and, did he happen to be heading to visit Santa? Of course, said he. Would he mind taking the letter the rest of the way for us? Happily, said he. The elf, by coincidence was named Pawel, or Paul in English he had 6 children and lived in Zakopane. We bumped into Pawel the elf again at the bottom (which took some explaining!). Because he was in a rush, he had had to pass it on to another elf but then he assured August that his letter had been safely delivered to Santa that day.

All this excitement and it was only 1130. After declining one of the extortionate horse and traps priced at a hefty 200 zloty to take us five minutes down the road, we again used the convenient minibus and hopped out at the waterpark (again – because we could actually afford to!). This time we bought an hours' ticket and had another fun swimming lesson. An hours ticket cost just under £4 each but be warned, a second over and you get fined by the grumpy chick on reception. Wanting to hit our beds exhausted again, we headed via the monorail back up the other mountain #Gubalowka to see if some of the other attractions might be open when visiting a little earlier in the day, such as the gravity slide that looked absolutely amazing and we've been recommended by one of my friends who visited Zak upon a previously. Unfortunately, it wasn’t, and neither was visibility good. The whole mountain top was covered in cloud and there was a misty drizzly rain. Charged up by a pure sugar hot chocolate with accompanying candy floss and combined with mega tiredness August lost a bit of form, so we headed back down the hill riding at the front of the monorail which was pretty awesome and sort out somewhere nice to eat.

Even though we were headed for the place with the "blue sheepskin rugs", I'm pretty confident we ended up somewhere better. I would imagine it has now turned me into a vegetarian; Owczarnia. Basically, a place where you can just eat massive slabs of meat. But again, so incredibly reasonable. The biggest pork knuckle, salad and potatoes and four drinks cost less than £18.

Hot tub again and now here we are, little man fast asleep next to me and me sat here writing this blog. We are heading home tomorrow, this time taking the train (or so I thought) back to Kraków.

We had the morning of our departure spare in Zakopane and August’s choice was to head back to the Aqua Park. The reception sold us some morning tickets which would give us an hour and a half duration in the pool at a cost of four pounds per person. That morning, we had woken up to snow; proper deep snow! August enjoyed his first real encounter with proper snow and rolled downhills, threw snowballs and made snow angels in the gardens of our accommodation. It was still snowing heavily when we went into the aquapark and again one of the most magical aspects of the trip was swimming in the outdoor heated pool with snow flurrying down, an amazing unique experience and one that I will cherish forever.

Addendum: the train that I thought I had booked was not a train at all, yet another bus, the intercity bus from Zakopane to Krakow. I kicked myself at the naivety of thinking I bagged a super-fast train when most of the services were claiming to get you to Krakow in three to four hours. As the time for departure neared, I became increasingly anxious that the amount of people milling around near the bus stop were far greater than a normal coach would allow. Chaos ensued and it was every man, woman and child for themselves. There's not an awful lot I like about British culture, but there is one thing that I do appreciate, queuing and queuing etiquette. It didn't seem to matter one bit that I was travelling with a little boy as people shoved and pushed grappled to get onto the coach. Fierce Mama bear kicked in and I fought our way to the front. We were on our way! I could have high fived August when he had a bit of a coughing fit, perfectly timed, and those that had been only moments ago barging him out the way were soon keeping their distance and gingerly putting their masks over their noses and mouths.

The journey seemed to pass really quickly, August dozed and so did I. And we arrived in Krakow with about four hours to spare before making our way to the airport, this time by train we hoped for with a flight at 9:45 PM. Managing to get lost, my phone frozen and out of battery we walked around in a circle but eventually made our way to the main square where we found picture perfect Christmas market and the most beautiful Christmas tree to very much rival the one in the film Home Alone. We had dinner overlooking the square, the magical Christmas tree and the beautiful horses and carriages queuing in front of the tree, awaiting their next customer. Getting back to the airport by train was fairly easy. Buy a ticket at the ticket booth, which will cost you approximately 2 pounds and head to platform 3, clearly signposted.

To be fair, although I'd heard that there had been a change to travel requirements announced on account of the new variant, I didn't give it a lot of thought, and I certainly didn't anticipate the chaos that reigned on the airport. Krakow airport seemingly only catering to Brits and every possible regional airport in the United Kingdom. But I didn't anticipate that the introduction and need for a PCR test rather than lateral flow test would catalyse mass exodus before the introduction of the new rules at 4:00 AM on the Tuesday morning. A combination of this and Brexit's ridiculousness meant that the queue to pass through passport control was a good 2 hours wait, add to the mix angry Brits topping up after a weekend on the piss, plastic glasses of blossom hill (most likely) in hand in the queue! People missing flights because of the queue and getting argie, the entire scene was one of chaos. Thankfully because we got there so early, we were able to remain calm and had plenty of time to spare.

Things to remember. As a parent, wherever you are you want to ensure you have coffee, intravenously ideally. Whilst I had remembered to pack my filter papers, I hadn't bought water and had to demonstrate my resourcefulness by crafting a coffee filter out of a plastic bottle. Desperation at its finest. Also, don't forget your plug adapter, it's your lifeline. So is your backup phone charger!

But the deeper philosophical considerations…..

Take my child out of school? You bet! Although I'm not advocating mutiny. Of course, I fundamentally see the value in a formal education, but I also see a significant value of this being enhanced through life experiences that can't be replicated in the classroom.

Is Zakopane a viable festive alternative to Lapland? I can't say.

Perhaps if someone wants to pay for me to, I will travel to and review a trip to Lapland. I certainly couldn't afford to. I imagine that visiting somewhere like Zakopane would offer some advantages however, and I believe that we experienced this ourselves. Because things were affordable to do, then we were able to do more, certainly things that we weren't able to do at home. We were able to eat out more, I didn't have to think twice about going on the cable car trip. At home it would seem extravagant to go swimming three days in a row. But it was incredibly reasonable to do so here. So, I firmly believe that #Poland and the many different areas have now visited offer such huge potential for tourism and particularly family tourism. I imagine this also extends to other Eastern European countries and encountered the same in Hungary and the Czech Republic.

Zakopane was #festive and it was delightful. Perhaps a little too commercialised for my own taste and I perhaps would seek out somewhere a bit more rural if visiting again but I certainly would visit again, and it's certainly a well catered for a family break. The only slight disappointment was, and we have global warming to thank for this, that there was not actually any snow in Zakopane itself (until the last day). We had to go to the extremes to get that snow. If the resort was snowy and there was snowfall on the lower slopes, then all of the #idyllic winter activities would be more easily accessible. Had the snow fallen on Day 1, I would have been keen to stay for much longer on account of the resort being very well served for mountain winter #sports #tourism.