Duggie does Dallas...... well, Dover!

It is widely accepted within the research of tourism behaviour, that our travel habits are largely a product of our social conditioning instilled through the habits of our parents or guardians as we are growing up. One aspect of my travel related social conditioning is that of the love of a #European #roadtrip. Some of my most treasured childhood memories are of driving down to the South of France to stay in a canvas tent. The evocative smell of the pine forests really sticks with me. Sometimes, we would visit a multicentre destination. Most of the time it would be just one destination. However, the bit that I always enjoyed the most was the journey. Sometimes these overnight stays were pre booked, sometimes they were more ad hoc. But it gave me, as a young child the opportunity to see several places, stay in different types of accommodation, and try a variety of local food. I remember Premiere Classe and Formule 1 being particular favourites. For anyone that knows these hotel brands, they are certainly nothing fancy and this taste his stuck with me. Very few things beat the delight of an Ibis buffet breakfast!

But I acknowledge, that whilst within these experiences, there was certainly no extravagance, something that has stayed with me, I was and still am incredibly lucky to have experienced these things with the frequency I did. I considered myself very fortunate in that respect. So, this is an aspect of my parents’ travel behaviour that I have adopted as an adult now. Whilst cruising isn't something that greatly appeals to me, mainly on the grounds of environmental and social impact, I can see the appeal for some people as there is the opportunity to experience multiple destinations in one trip. But I have a preference for overland, and particularly having your own transport allows you the freedom and flexibility to go at your own pace and explore at your own will.

So, I have eight precious days with my 4-year-old son at my disposal. After much deliberation over whether it would be wise to bag an absolute bargain and fly to some guaranteed sunshine, I decided against that and opted for the road trip. My objectives for the holiday were that a) that I wanted to give August as much opportunity to learn to swim unaided as possible b), that I wanted to expose him to a variety of experiences, sceneries, and cultures c), I wanted him to have the opportunity to play a make friends with children that didn't speak the same language as him and d) I wanted to maximise our use of Duggie whilst his elderly wheels were still rolling.

I had been monitoring the prospect of taking Duggie over to the continent for several months now and on previous trips had discounted it because of the role of France as a travel corridor and the fact that that, at the time it would mean a quarantine upon return. Not viable, and not fair for either August or his dad. Where we could go when we got there was also highly dependent at this time upon what the international travel restrictions in relation to COVID were in those countries. But at the last announcement on the 5th of August, the requirement to quarantine upon return from France was removed, Germany was put on the green list and several neighbouring countries seemed to be increasingly accessible.

There always must be some inherent travel related challenge within my trips, and I had vaguely set myself the goal of getting as far as Gdansk in Poland, which from Calais would take 16 hours straight driving. I could either loop round the long way through France, Germany, Czech Republic into Poland, but would then need to backtrack, something that I really don't like doing and going over old ground because the news from the Netherlands and Belgium at that time was that the UK visitors needed in the central reason to go there and would need to quarantine upon arrival. So that was that particular route out. To loop round to the South through Germany into Poland both there and back would be too much of a stretch and not fair on my young passenger.

So even though I'm not 100% certain at this moment how much of it all August takes in or fully understands, I want him to be involved from an early age in travel-related decisions. I want travel to be a passion, not because it's my own passion but because through travel, I truly believe it opens your eyes, broadens your horizons and perspectives and understanding of the world and is, in my own personal opinion the best form of education you can have. So, before departing, and this was literally a very last-minute planned trip, something that seems to be becoming a trend with me at the moment. it goes against the grain as a natural planner but most probably a necessity on account of the fact that it is not so easy to plan for the longer term right now.

So, we sat there with our detailed European map open, one that I purchased years earlier for a much longer European road trip, when August was really small. I'd gotten into the habit of highlighting the routes that we'd taken on each trip to create a memento for him and his future. Looking at our options and what I reckoned would be achievable in eight days, making sure that we didn't overstretch ourselves and August didn't spend too much time in the passenger seat of a van. It seemed that there were two, maybe three appealing options. Firstly, to do a clockwise loop of France. Secondly to head down through France in a south-westerly direction, avoiding Belgium and Luxembourg and then travel into Germany and see how far we could get. But as I say I'm not a fan of backtracking and so was keen for a loop itinerary. I've experienced the absolutely stunning scenery of South-Eastern France, going across the Alps into northern Italy once before on a Megabus trip to Turin, it looked like a pretty #scenic route could be achieved by heading down into northern #Switzerland and then travelling back up through #Germany the #Rhineland and the #Schwarzwald. Through this route it would be possible to tick off one of my bucket list destinations of #Neuschwanstein castle.

The beauty of travelling with little Duggie is that we could take what we wanted, of course within limits, it's a micro-camper after all or as August has renamed it a “micro motorhome”. Sounds far more posh than he actually is! Over the last six months I've done some increasingly longer distances in Duggie and was really confident he could do this so at our first check point at Dover, I was delighted that he made it! Even though I'm prone to sea sickness I do love #ferry travel, there's something far more civilised about it then air travel. You put everything you want in your car then drive to the port 45 minutes before, drive on, have a walk around. If travelling with DFDS at the minute you even get a free meal on board and before you know it you there and drive off again. No stress! The border control process both at Dover and Calais was particularly smooth. Going into France I just needed to show my #vaccination status. The other document that gov.uk insisted you needed, the sworn statement wasn't even looked at. There were no further checks on the French side, the only uncomfortable aspect about the experience was the mental French border security guard at Dover who yelled at me and continued to jabber away in some undiscernible attempt to be humorous because I accidentally drove past him.

Having had a 3 1/2 hour drive down to Dover, I didn't really want us to be spending too much more time in the van the French side. I’d set a maximum limit for our daily travel of three hours, which I intended to do in the morning, giving us the full afternoon and evening in each place to relax and enjoy. I think it's important on a trip like this to build in time and flexibility for myriad young child related whims search as the millionth request for snacks, toilet breaks, toilet breaks for the stuffed animals that he brought with him, random requests to sunbathe on the grass at Aires, the list goes on.

On Pitchup.com the night before, I found a very reasonable site for 15 euros in Perronne, called Camping Du Port De Plaisance, approximately an hour and a half from Calais. Driving through the town of Peronne, it was absolutely stunning! I'll come on to talk about the prospect of stopping to look at anything you would actually like to look at with a four-year-old in tow later on in the story. Something I've come to realise during this trip, is how well set up the French are for camping and how much more laid back and accommodating they are. Check-in at the campsite Du Port Au Plaisance was friendly and welcoming. I was offered the opportunity to order fresh bread and croissants for the morning and the essentials for any French camping holiday; a very reasonably priced bottle of good quality wine.

I find #wine helps build #creativity in the relentless and sometimes rather challenging questions of a curious 4-year-old. Like today's question, "mummy how did everything get here?" Deep. #French #campsites always seemed to be very relaxed, informal places with spacious pitches and the opportunity to have a look around and choose your preferred pitch. After all everyone wants something different. In line with our holiday aims, there was a perfect pitch, perhaps not the prettiest or the quietest but directly opposite the swimming pool. It's also, and I would suggest one of my big takeaways from a family camping holiday is, given the opportunity, choose a pitch where you can see that there are other children close by, or even better within the line of sight of the playground. I'm all for the quick wins. The campsite, upon arrival, did ask to see my COVID certificate. Typically, another legacy of this Brexit ridiculousness the NHS's certificate isn't transferable and the QR code can't be read within the EU system. However, the kind receptionist could clearly see I had been vaccinated and accepted it anyway. Luckily it wasn't until much later in the trip that any form of evidence was asked for again.

I also really enjoy driving in France. Ordinarily I would plan a route using Apple Maps to avoid motorways or tolls, because I truly feel that that's the best way to get a sense of the destination. But eight days is rather tight for the distance we were considering and so we did make use of the autoroutes. Rather helpfully, or unhelpfully (depending on perspective), in France tempting brown signs with images of the many attractions you could hop off the autoroute to visit adorn the side of the road. However, if travelling with a four-year-old, forget it! there is no time or opportunity for serendipitous sightseeing. I have however stockpiled a massive list of brown signs in my head of places I would like to hop off the autoroute to see in future visits. Our journey was blinkered. Road connects us to campsite, connects us to swimming pool and a playground. Simples. As many autoroutes are paid they're quiet and very pleasant to drive. Again, another big plus point of road trips and driving in France are the Aires. You will find these along autoroutes and other main trunk roads perhaps every 10 to 20 kilometres. In contrast to UK roadside rest areas which generally are rather minging places stinking of piss with a range of suspect items discarded along the side of the tarmac, French as have clean toilets, picnic benches, play areas and dog crap free grassy areas that children can play on. Tres Bon. I jest, to an extent. But they are much nicer places.

Driving and road trips in general with August in the van are a lot of fun. Is not a rule as such, but I tend to avoid offering any screens on journeys and they are only there as an absolute last call in an emergency. That's not necessarily the right approach, everyone's preference. But I find journeys, with August sat next to me in the front a great opportunity to talk, to connect, to feed his expanding mind and pique his curiosity. Travelling in the van also enables a lot of his familiar things to be brought. In fact, his footwell is rammed full of toys. I'd like to say that the dashboard in the front of the van is in some way shape or form organised, in reality it's an absolute mess but it does hold the essentials for any childbearing journey. Snacks, in abundance. Wipes for snot, spit, poop, blood (?!), spillages and what not that could occur. Three stuffed cats, that were essential companions, Jesse, Jinksey and Snuggly (actually a dog) who needed to look out the window and also stop for regular toilet breaks. August’s sunglasses, essential to be on hand for an urgent sun related extreme painful blindness that might quickly onset and need shielding.

Sometimes the van related activity was more varied than others. On one particular day August organised his toys, I was counting and reached 200 times. Into the footwell, onto the dashboard, in between our seats obstructing the gear stick and hand break which prompted a panicked, feline rejection from me. Fishing for toys in the footwell using a wire appended from his car seat. And then many cat related whims, the most humorous of which involved an urgent request for the van to stop so that Jinx he could do a poo but August thankfully was satisfied with the offer of the empty McDonald's cup.

We then moved on to Camping de la Croix D’Arles near Langres. Another site found on Pitchup com. Pitchup seems to be a much greater utility for camping in France over Germany. Although I would really recommend downloading Park for a Night or Search for Sites onto your device as Park for a Night became invaluable towards the latter half of the trip and shows not only commercial campsites, but free camping areas and also pleasant and unpleasant areas to stop during the daytime. I'm really pleased though with all the campsites we stayed at this trip. As an aside, I had made a conscious decision to opt for commercial campsites this time rather than any free camping which of course is appealing but then wouldn't enable the mixing and opportunity for swimming that I'd hoped for August on this trip. Croix d’Arles was a campsite in the forest near Langres that was again offering something slightly different but equally enjoyable. Forest based camping, again really smooth check in. Despite signs to say that you needed to produce your COVID vaccination certificates there was no request for this. Again, loving the opportunity to order fresh bread for the morning. However, I'm totally carbed out and I'm now taking this opportunity for a massive detox. We could choose our own pitch, and even though after exploration finding the campsite was massive and there were some really beautiful little corners, I was delighted that Duggie’s compact and bijou nature meant that we could squeeze into a little spot next to the swimming pool and directly opposite the playground.

Something I never really figured on as being part of parental activity is that of mediator and in a different cultural setting international mediator. It highlighted to me just how important language learning is for children. August, to those who know him well, know that he's either one thing or another with you. He's either not shy and gets stuck straight in or will be incredibly shy and take time to come round. With other children that he doesn't know it's rare if he'll go and get stuck straight in, although there was a time where he must just have immediately gelled with a little Croatian boy last summer and it was like they were best friends within 5 minutes, even though they were unable to communicate in a shared language. However, ordinarily he will ask for me to ask them if he can join in and this trip was no different. The language barrier was an added complication but, in my mind, play is play and childhood is childhood and once I had made the introductions there was nothing stopping him. This site was particularly good in that respect and there was a really nice mix of Dutch, French and German children all playing happily together on the trampoline, and it was really interesting to just sit back and watch the innocence of play and the international recognition of certain words like “stop” which they quickly determined was internationally recognised and enabled them to command the others to stop bouncing and each individual child to show off their tricks or jumps. It was at this campsite that August first swam unaided, but bizarrely under the water. He seems to find that much easier. Absolutely amazing proud parental moment!

From a tourism perspective, which I will always refer back to as that is my professional and academic background, I found it really interesting to muse on the realities of life and liberty in a post COVID world. Again, how the media and social media scaremongering is instilling fear in people to travel when the barriers, in reality aren’t there. For example, just how many Dutch there were outside of the Netherlands, and the fact that the Belgian borders from personal advice of Belgians we met are open and it is entirely possible to travel through the country right now. In fact, many of the borders that I crossed did not have a border security presence, or at least one that would stop you to perform any form of checks and therefore again I needn’t have worried.

So, to the experience of crossing the Swiss border. It happened. No checks, nothing. My abiding memory of crossing the Swiss border however is that for the first time in my life I was stung by a bee. It bloody hurts! And this bee happened to be ingested into Duggie and sting the hell out of my upper thigh just as we entered a series of mountain tunnels that went on and on and on it was challenging to hold it together and continue driving safely with limited profanity. Although I must apologise, August learned some very special new words during this trip.

Our destination in #Switzerland, was the Fraso Ranch just outside Lignieres, Neuchatel, overlooking Lake Bienne. Again, I was happy to be able to get by in my mixture of GCSE German and French. Duggie’s diminutive size meant again that we were able to benefit from a lovely little spot adjacent to the basketball court, tennis courts and again within view of the play area. Everything was super clean, and I didn't feel that it was unnecessarily expensive unlike the reputation of Switzerland. In fact, I would say that this site perhaps represented the best value for money out of any at 17 Swiss francs which probably equates to about 14 pounds. Considering all the amenities, it was absolutely amazing. And you have absolutely got to love the Swiss. Duggie, because of his appearance stimulates a reaction. I love how many people he makes smile; I don't even care if it's a laugh. Laughter is good for the soul. But what was interesting is that a woman on her own with her son in a micro camper van were very much treated as a curiosity. In a tourism context this is known as “othering” or to be regarded as the other, the subject of the tourist gaze and that is very much how I felt on this trip. It wasn't necessarily unpleasant just interesting to muse upon.

On the morning of our departure, I was warmed by a friendly Swiss fella, resembling, for those 90 kids, Swiss Tony off the Fast Show, kitted up in nothing but his Speedos. Speedos, why? Call me a prude but I generally find it rather uncomfortable when someone sporting such a skimpy garment stands in front of you, mid lunge, towel tossed nonchalantly over his shoulder, hand on hip engaging you in a conversation about who you were, what you were doing, and where you were going. But seriously I adore the lighthearted and happy go lucky nature of the Swiss.

Next stop Germany. We enjoyed an absolutely stunning drive along the Rhine valley. Again, the German border at Koblenz had no restrictions and no stops. We were headed for Lake Konstanze. Another excellent site at Camping and Ferienpark Orsingen, but a real contrast to that we had been getting used to. German sites, in general are far more structured, your pitches preassigned and the pitches are generally a lot smaller. I likened them to mini fortresses which no one could get in nor out of. Whilst the site was super and August was delighted with pools and play areas, I really didn't find it very friendly at all and we were treated as a bit of a curiosity and something to be avoided. So, say no more.

The next day it was probably one of the best days of the holiday. We headed to Hopfensee and the town of Fussen. A real bucket list location as this is where you can see #Neuschwanstein castle. And we did and both Fussen and the surrounding area is just absolutely awe inspiring in terms of scenery.

I really would recommend a visit and would go back in a heartbeat to explore further. The campsite, Camping Hopfensee, that day was probably one of the most frustrating experiences. Check in at the sites in Germany was neither quick nor easy and just felt frustrating and full of faff it probably wasn't helped by the fact that the weather swiftly changed from that of scorching heat to pouring rain. But we made the most of it and were able to hire a Pedalo on Hopfensee and August was captain, and we enjoyed the most stunning sunset, a real moment to treasure.

The next morning it was raining heavily and there was no opportunity to sit outside and enjoy a leisurely breakfast without getting drenched through to the skin. So, we defaulted to our normal action when camping in the pissing rain and sought out those golden arches. I am unapologetic over this, having previously been a McDonald's objector, their coffee was my saviour during my maternity leave, and I became hooked. It is also quite convenient to have a drive through facility when it is raining so heavily. But to note, in case anyone cares or is likely to replicate this behaviour, probably not. In Germany McDonald's do not open at the crack of dawn nor do they serve a convenient yet yummy egg mccmuffin. When we finally, after having wasted two hours driving around, at points on the wrong side of the road, annoying the locals severely, we were met with the news that breakfast is not a possibility I am not ashamed to say that at this moment, at 10:00 AM August was served up a Happy Meal and I tucked into the cold left-over pizza from last night. Quality parenting right there! Sometimes, it's necessary. On the plus point, in Germany with a happy meal he gets an automatic fruit shot.

The rest of the journey picked up from there. It passed easily with a range of conversations about Carol and her fur coat and whether it was likely she had any children to which I replied not bloody likely, looking like that she doesn't. An extended bout of hilarity over my funny words (apologies my French and German language) and some serious Naughty Norman and Dyllis related banter, played back in an authentic Welsh accent.

Our next stop was in the Black Forest, Bad Willmad, staying at Family Resort Kleinenzhof. I have mixed feelings about this site. On one hand I would say it's my favourite out of all of them, but that is in terms of the scenery and the facilities. There are go karts and mini tractors for hire, top marks from August. An outdoor and an indoor pool. Here August swam half a width on the surface this time unaided, again great success! An amazing play area in which children could construct their own waterway, use diggers in the sand and play in the architecturally integrated children’s chalet opposite the restaurant, and a range of animals that you could interact with. All absolutely amazing. Apart from the staff. I'm sorry to say I've never known misery like it. And I really don't understand why people like that are working in a hospitality setting.

There were no border controls Baden-Baden crossing from Germany back into France. The time was nearing and the anxiety was building around the pre-return COVID test for the UK. Again, it's beyond me how a test taken up to three days before entry into the UK can be seen as indicative of not having the disease when you get there. So again, I pre-tested using the NHS home version and was amazed I didn't test positive after all the children’s spit that I seem to have swallowed within swimming pools over the last week.

Again, out of reassurance to anyone that is currently overseas and needing their return tests to the UK, it is a lot easier to arrange this in destination. For example, in France you go onto the great Sante.fr website. Type in your current location and it will bring up a list of locations, predominantly chemists in which you can rock up, without an appointment, pay €20 and get your antigen test and certificate. The one I chose, in Verdun, surprisingly for me, resembled some form of crack den (or at least in my imagining). It was located next to the supermarket Noma, in which you can purchase a can of strong ale for $0.02, or thereabouts, and therefore has a certain appeal. This was the gritty edge I was looking for. The medic almost blinded me with the strength of her prod of cotton bud, and I was convinced she was going to find something that my own pre-test hadn't. Thank God she didn't, we were re able to re-enter the UK.

Even though perhaps this was the most outdated and unkempt site of all the sites in Verdun, 9 Allee des Breuils, was so charming. This was down to the staff. Really kind and friendly and true hospitality was shown by the owner, I’m assuming her son and granddaughter, who August was rather taken with who was helping wait on tables. The weather was really bad at this point and the unheated pool only appealed to two French lads who were enjoying the slides. However, we were here to practise, and practise we would. Although August would not swim in the freezing cold pool.

The last stop would take us within easy reach of the return ferry. This was La Sensee located near the town of Arras. Again, super pleased with this site which I would imagine was predominantly residential. But we chose it on the basis of it having an indoor heated swimming pool. We made the most of it and spent three hours there in the afternoon, leaving as wrinkled as prunes although again my anxiety was heightened with the amount of people in the pool and the amount of phlegm that seemed to be leaving peoples bodies and floating menacingly towards me.

So, in summary what did we make of the trip and what are our key takeaways? Again, the fear surrounding the logistical challenge of international travel at this time, I would say is greater than the challenge itself. We encountered no barriers to movement, so long as we were sensible and had done a small amount of research in advance as to where was and wasn't possible to go at this time. Again, the ability to arrange for #testing in the destination country at a much #cheaper price than in the UK was a definite plus point. I really would advocate taking road trips and #European #camping trips with children if your resources will allow. Again, a small amount of preparation, or essentials, that I didn't really need to labour over go a long way.

Firstly, have up your sleeve lots of car related activities, songs, music, and topics of conversation. Secondly fill your car full of #snacks! Thirdly don't overstretch yourself and if you have just one destination in mind build in ample time for travel there and possible stop offs. I can imagine that driving through the night so that your child or children will sleep would allow you to cover greater distances, or if it were possible to share the driving, but for me a maximum of three hours per day worked well. Staying off the motorways work better for me because it was far easier to stop when we wanted to without having to exit and pay tolls. Also, the scenery and points of interest are far more varied on the minor roads, but of course this has a knock-on effect upon the journey time. Get an app on your phone such as Park for a Night or Search for Sites and make use of other camping related apps like Pitchup.com. Of course, you can plan your itinerary fully ahead but that doesn't leave much room for flexibility and unexpected needs for change. I found that planning the next destination the evening before worked pretty well and through an app like Park for a Night you can see where the pleasant snack breaks and lunch breaks could be enjoyed.

If travelling on my own or with other adults I would probably plan the stops around places I wanted to see, but our stop off points tended to be a little less strategic and using a more random methodology like being intrigued about the name of a place or having some connection with it. It became a bit of a game, for example St. Omer, associated with beer, Nancy is the name of my other vehicle a Nissan, some stops were chosen as the basis of having featured in my GCSE French textbook Tricolore and I'd always wondered what they were like… like Quimper!. A few humorous place names such as Bitche and Boucheporne made intriguing stops just out of curiosity.

When you get to the campsite, again, I'm all about keeping it simple and straight forward so that you can enjoy some downtime as well. If you get the chance to choose your pitch; choose it near the playground. Yes, your ears will ring with the noise but happy kids equal happy parent(s) and you might even get to enjoy a relaxing glass of wine uninterrupted. As I said earlier, travelling with young kids you might have to forego your own personal desires for spontaneous sightseeing and points of interest and focus the trip on the needs of your child, but if you choose a site that's actually located within walking distance of a town you can dress up some sightseeing under the guise of a bike ride into the village to get some sweets. Crafty!

Other takeaways both generally and for me personally. Firstly, don't leave your glasses on the gas hob when you are boiling a kettle. They will melt. Secondly get a petrol can and fill it up. Duggie’s petrol gauge is unreliable leaving me to gamble with an empty tank on more than one occasion and really cut it fine in terms of travelling on fumes. I wouldn't have really wanted to get stranded with August in the van. With a 998cc engine Duggie doesn't do hills well, bless him, this isn't necessarily ideal for the environment in Switzerland.

Another potential source if stress is the autoroute toll. Especially if you're travelling on your own or with a small child you will approach the ticket barrier and the pay barrier on the wrong side. Inevitably the child will not be able to reach the ticket, and this will leave you fumbling around like an idiot, driving other vehicles behind you mad and thinking “you stupid British!”. So, make sure you have your payment card on your dashboard, approach the barrier with the window down, unhook your seat belt and lean across and do it yourself or simply leave the vehicle quickly, run round the front and you WILL have time to re-enter the vehicle and pull off before the barrier drops again. My final tip, and again it's nothing ground-breaking is UHT milk. A wonderful invention. With no refrigeration this will last possibly up to four days in warm weather. A winner! I learned also that you can let prawns roam free outside of a refrigerated environment for up to 24 hours and not die upon their consumption. One final thing don't pack bananas in your cool bag. Very quickly they will stink and infect the rest of the food and the van with the smell.

Finally, Finally I wonder when the 15-year-old schoolgirl in me will stop being amused by the German word for exit #ifyouknowyouknow LOL.